Playing Make Believe
by Maiden of the Moon
Summary: I love you, Chrono. And if this is what it takes... I’ll play make believe with you for the rest of my life. (RxC angst. Warnings: Lime, implied abuse, etc.)


_Disclaimer: I don't own Chrono Crusade. Yeah, yeah, yeah. . . _

_Author's Note: So yeah, it's kinda funny how this fic came about. . . I was inspired to write it by Lechan-sama's fic, 'Wanting More Than You Can Give,' which she wrote after being inspired by _my_ fic, 'Warmth'. Which sorta makes this one inspired by. . . me. . . and her. . . and. . . uh. . . something. (sweatdrop) _

_XD XD XD Ah, isn't life funny? _

Anyway, just gotta give a shout out for Lechan-sama- **READ HER FICS!**_ They're **great**! XD Especially 'Eternal Regrets, Lost Desires,' (see aff . net) and 'Only For You' (which she wrote after being inspired by my fic, Strawberry Cream- so if anyone wants a more limy, longer, **better** take on SC, read it! OMG, I loved it soooo much. . .)_

**WARNINGS: MILD LIME, ANGST, IMPLIED ABUSE. Also, possible Rosette OOCness, but, as always, I kinda don't think so. (Though I guess- why would I write her OOC on purpose, ne? (sweatdrop)) She's playing to one of her extreme moods, here- that's all. (She's a girl who takes what she wants, whether or not someone is willing to hand it over, you know?) Finally, Chrono is OOC in one, smaaaaaall way- he doesn't love Rosette "like that". (Pth! Yeah right. He loved her LOOOONG before she even realizes she _liked_ him. . .)**

_Well, that said, please enjoy! (And btw- Double Trouble chapter 3 is almost done. XD)_

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_"Love - a find, a fire, a heaven, a hell,_

Where pleasure, pain and sad repentance do dwell."

-Richard Barnfield

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_**PLAYING MAKE BELIEVE **_

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**I love you.**

Those words frightened him, scared him, scarred him. And as soon as I whispered them, murmured them as softly as a prayer, I knew I had made a mistake. I had crossed the line in voicing such a confession- stepped over our carefully set boundaries and into a world of forbidding darkness.

At that moment, I should have taken it back.

I should have pretended it didn't happen.

I should have added some sort of condition to the end of the phrase after seeing the horror in his ruby pools; changed my declaration into "I love you. . . when you don't act like such an idiot."

. . . But I couldn't.

Once those words had spilt from my lips, so true, so heartfelt, I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't contain it- I love him! I always have. . . I always will. I didn't want to cover it up anymore.

**Tell me you love me, too,** I demanded; looking up at him with tears streaming down my face. My hands clutched the watch upon my chest- tugging it as if to break it if he did not respond. He hesitated. I couldn't take it- fear, dread, anxiety, hatred. . .all raced through me in a whirl of emotion I'd never felt before.

I hurt him. I pulled his hair and clawed at his chest, raging. My fist connected with his arms and torso, pounding mercilessly as I cried.

**Please, Chrono! Tell me you love me, too!**

My screams echoed through the silent convent; a flash of lightning as bright as the moonlight illuminating my wounded face. I yanked him harshly towards me; muddy fingers fisted in his hair- my blood staining his tan skin.

And he complied, sobbing silently along with me- but for another reason.

_I- I love you, too, Rosette. _

**Promise me!**

He whimpered. _I s-swear it. . . I love you!_

But he looked down upon me with an expression in his eyes that I'd never seen before. An awful, spiteful sort of scorning that he tried to swallow, but didn't quite succeed in doing. His stare hurt me in a way that made the other injuries to my body tickle. Yes, I paid for my decision.

And I am still paying for it, one hundred times over.

**I love you.**

I tell him the words so regularly now- hiss them into his elfin ears during supper, wail them into his arms when I'm wounded, breathe them into the wind when he's around. And for my sake- for I know he _does_ care- he always replies:

_I love you, too, Rosette. _

But I'm not blind- I can see his reaction; demonic, blood-red orbs full of guilt, a crestfallen look upon his face. I can even see his inner tears.

Yet it doesn't stop me. I can't _let_ it stop me. Because if I do. . .

. . . If I do, I'll die inside. Die from sadness, from shame. And to stop would be to admit defeat- to acknowledge his loathing- to surrender him forever to his precious Magdalene.

I cannot do that. He is mine, whether he likes it or not!

Mine. . .

**I love you, Chrono.**

I force the words into his very soul; running hands and lips over his face, his throat, his chest. . . My nails rip through his clothing, raking down his skin. Eventually I tug his hands away from the headboard, forcing him to use them against my flesh. I both ignore and savor his gasps, moans, pleas. . .

_Ro. . . Rosette. . . please. . ._

Please what, Chrono? Please WHAT?

. . . No. I don't want to know.

Jamming my own eyes shut I harshly press my mouth over his, stealing the sweetness that hides in the crevasses of his warmth. I continue to force my tongue into the velvety depths of that honey-filled cavern; nipping and tugging and caressing until I can no longer breathe.

I break away with a pant, resting our foreheads together as we lay in my bed, naked and sweating. Commands fall from me like rain from the midnight sky, staring desperately into his eyes.

**Please, Chrono. . . tell me that you love me.**

He smiles sadly, so sadly. . . and looks about to cry. But all the same- for my sake- he brushes a feather-soft kiss against my forehead and whispers the words I long so badly to hear.

_I love you, Rosette. _

And then I allow him to fall asleep, his body warm against the chill in my heart. I hold him closer.

Chrono. . . I know you're lying to me. You don't even _try_ to hide it. But don't you understand? I **need** your love- I need _you!_ Why can't you see how much you mean to me?

. . . I thought once, Chrono, that if I told you often enough how strongly I feel, you'd fall in love with me yourself. But no. . . all it has done is trap us in a twisted game of make believe; a game that I won't allow us to break free from.

I love you, Chrono. And if this is what it takes. . .

I'll play make believe with you for the rest of my life.

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